Starting from scratch

Hey Fam!

So, welcome! And to those of you who have been following The Urban Her from the beginning...welcome back!

It's been a loooong time coming and this return is long overdue if I am being honest. I've been through some ups and downs over the past few years. Things in my life have changed and shifted some things. BUT...God has remained faithful and patient with me the entire time.

I've made mistakes.

I've had some shifts in my relationships.

I've experienced loneliness.

I've experienced doubt and fear.

I've asked questions most have asked when being in a place of uncertainty.

Lately, I have discovered that most of these feelings and "experiences" have been brought about by my own doing. Inaction has been a huge contributor to these experiences.

I remember sitting and watching those around me walk in their God given calling/purpose and being fulfilled. The keyword here is "watching".

I was being a hearer and observer but not a DOER.

Intrusive thoughts plagued me and brought about anxiety and unnecessary stress.

Again, I am having a moment of honesty and transparency. I know that I am not alone in this and my prayer is that someone reading this feels seen and is encouraged to do something different.

Time that I will never get back was spent watching and blaming myself for my own inaction.

A decision had to be made because it was becoming an unbearable season. My inaction was causing more damage than I imagined it could. God told me what I should be doing. God told me who I was and what I was called to do. But because my assignment looked different than those around me, I withdrew and sat on my assignment instead of trusting God and seeing it through.

The biggest mistake I made was leaning on my own understanding; which is the opposite of what God's word tells us to do. Proverbs 3:5-6 says:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

And lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

And He shall direct your paths.

I was doing the opposite! When I chose to lean on my own understanding, I was no longer directed by Him. It was me and me alone. And in your walk with God, this is a dangerous place to be. No matter how bad it gets, we cannot afford to stop trusting and listening to God.

When I listened to 'me', I sank further and further into doubt, fear and anxiety. I was focused on what resources I did not have. I was focused on who I was not connected to. I was focused on everyone else's creativity instead of cultivating mine. I was focused on everything I did not have...again, a dangerous place to be.

Focusing on what you don't have can lead to a place of despair and a lack of gratitude. When we focus on what we do not have, we lose sight of what God has placed in front of us and in our hands. I became busy focusing on what was in the hands of others and neglected the work that the Lord was trying to complete through mine.

One thing the enemy loves is an inactive Believer. He wants the people of God to sit on what they have been assigned to do. The enemy wants us to walk in disobedience, fear and play the comparison game. He knows that if we remain there, we won't grow the way God intended us to grow.

In that season, the enemy enjoyed watching me watch others. He enjoyed this because I was not walking in the assignment God had given me.

Are you being a watcher? Are you sitting instead of moving?

BUT...I spent time in prayer and my word. I was reminded of who I was and what I was assigned to do. From there, I made the decision to do something different.

The word of God gave me what I needed and the presence of God provided the comfort and reassurance I was looking for. God reassured me that He had not forsaken me nor had He left me (Hebrews 13:5).

I went to my source who is Jehovah Jireh my provider. God provides more than physical needs like food, shelter, water. He provides EVERY NEED. I was in need of comfort, peace, joy, creativity, strategy, and all the things.

If you are in a season of Starting From Scratch, remember these this quote...

"If you lost everything and still have Jesus, you have enough to start over"

-Louis Collins

Starting over may suck! But look at it as a New Start.

God does not waste time nor does He waste seasons.

He is a wise and strategic God. And He loves you!

Pray this prayer:

Lord, thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving me enough to grant me an opportunity to start fresh.

Father, forgive me for doubting you, doubting my assignment or doubting your hand in my life. Forgive me for all acts of disobedience.

Give me the wisdom to execute the assignment you have placed in my hand. Holy Spirit be my teacher, strategist and guide as I enter into my new start. Father I thank you again for Your mercy to start anew. Lord do something great in me and through me. Amen.